November 18, 2006
The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman may have performed some pretty unbelievable feats with their bionic body parts back in the 1970’s, but Baby Boomers are getting some bionic body parts of their own these days.
Who knows? Maybe we’ll be able to lift a truck with a finger or leap 12 feet in the air with our new body parts just like those bionic heroes.
Remember the 70’s when two popular bionic TV shows aired? The stars were Lee Majors and Lindsay Wagner, superhuman bionic man and Herculean woman, respectively.
Addressing this very subject, my friend Jeri, high school classmate of years gone by, wrote recently to tell me she is becoming bionic herself.
Jeri will soon enter a new stage of life she had never thought about when she was young, “the bionic stage.”
To the Baby Boomer generation, the accepted and familiar stages of life seemed straightforward enough when we were growing up.
Childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, and finally, “the “Golden Years.”
These were the only known stages of life.
Today, we find ourselves adding “bionic stage” to the list.
Jeri emailed to tell me she will get a total left knee replacement made of metals and polymers and who knows what else. Her right knee will go bionic next year as well.
She explains “I really had no thought about the bionic stage of life, but I am about to discover it. I have to wonder how many bionic parts I can get before I reach the final stage of my life. Are there other stages hiding out there about to jump out and grab me?”
“If they replace enough parts,” Jeri speculates, “Would I fit into Lindsay Wagoner’s Bionic Woman costume?”
She answers her own question, “Probably not. I was born with a bigger waist as a baby than she had as an adult. No, that was Wonder Woman with the unhealthy small waist wasn’t it.”
Jeri also tells me that scientists are working on a bionic retina?
How interesting. Being able to see where your other bionic parts are going sounds like a good idea to me.
I had to Google search bionics. My curiosity was killing me.
If you, too, decide to search the web for the words “bionic stage”, you can learn some surprising things.
For instance, there is a real-life bionic woman and man, both alive and well and performing feats that were impossible to them prior to the implementation of bionic parts.
Both are amputees, due to horrific accidents.
Claudia Mitchell lost an arm in a motorcycle accident. Jesse Sullivan, a utility lineman, lost both his arms from burns severe enough that both arms had to be amputated.
Today, these two are the first bionic man and woman in the world, according to the Associated Press.
Repairing these two is more involved than just using bionic parts.
Dr. Todd Kuiken of the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago says that physicians are tapping into the nervous system in a unique way.
According to the AP, Dr. Kuiken helped develop the bionic arm and the procedure called muscle reinnervation. Nerves from the shoulder are rerouted to muscles in the chest which activate sensors in the artificial limbs.
Now, Claudia can tie her shoes, and Jesse can climb a ladder and paint his house.
At the same time, scientists and physicians are helping soldiers who have lost limbs in battle. A new robotic knee is better than old prosthetic devices. Sensors in a shoe and an ankle bracelet send information to the prosthesis. The artificial leg mimics the good side of the body and helps the patient walk normally, according to Bob Allen of CBS Broadcasting.
Jeri asked me one more question, “Do hearing aides and dentures count as bionic or only prosthetics and bone replacements in knees, arms, and hips?
Another old friend, whose name I shall not mention to protect him from his own remarks, says no.
Cosmetic procedures are quite another matter, he says, and are definitely not bionic.
He uses his middle-aged girl friend as an example.
She has had breast replacements (certainly not a bionic procedure), a tummy tuck, a butt lift, colored contacts, braces, and an expensive hair weave.
He says he calls her “his roadster project.” The chassis and motor are still running fine, but the chrome and fenders have all been replaced.”
You see why I did not mention the poor guy’s name. Any self-respecting woman might punch him in the nose!
